Seeds are the start of things yet hold the promise of a long and complex life. I don’t know whether to admit it, but I am, by sharing that I had a problem with some tiny tiny australian mice in my house…. and they kind of helped me paint this one. I mix linseed oil with the pigments and they came and ate some of the linseed as the canvas lay on the floor. They added to the textural complexity. I did think about painting over it when I came in in the morning but I just could not bring myself to. The idea of having silent helpers was too romantic and magical to deny. There is a complexity to the connections of three, which holds such a mystery in our culture. 1+1+1=something completely different. A synthesis which moves beyond the paradigm of the originating trinity. I used indelible pens on this one as well as the oils, done as usual on an unstreched canvas on the floor. Though sometimes I pin them up.
When starting something, I often have an idea or vision of what I want as a future outcome. But as I have gotten older I am less rigid with this. I am more apt to play and give space to allow surprises to occur. I flatter myself to say that this gives more scope to the unknown, those unconscious drivers that lift themselves out of the dense fog. I do love to play with the psychodynamic aspect of the final paintings…..I often dont know what will emerge as an ending image. The seed for this was a doodle on a post-it. Very informal with no pretension. The little image gave rise to an exploratory play that gave me such pleasure with the meanderings of colour and mice. Ahhh of mice and woman……my friendly helpers, at the same time as exasperating pest. Dont you think that often we feel such contradictory emotions at the same time. The complexity of my emotions is always so much deeper that I like to think. They are confusing, I dont often have time to really delve into the emotional alchemical mixtures of things, though painting is a great way to pay them homage. I wonder that very few people at all give even as much time to them as myself. I think we might be less when we could be more, paying too much attention to the others that control and initiate the things we do minute by minute, hour by hour.
I feel that by paying more attention paying more time paying more significance to the complex, the multivalent, the seemingly undefinable we grow closer to who we really are than just following someone else’s script.
Who’s SCRIPT are you following today I wonder……