…of home

of home 2003

It took quite a while to paint this one, or maybe it just felt like it at the time, as I had never spend so long on the one piece before. It is about 1200mm x 1200mm so it takes time just to put the paint on the canvas. I painted a lot on the floor and then got them stretched later, this changes the way paint behaves, and on a hard surface you can scratch and rub, and get quite physical with a painting…. though this was painted with a brush almost entirely. I collected some jingle shells from a river beach, crushed them up and then rubbed them into the painting so it glints in the light. Of home refers to that welsh song that Tom Jones sings. The grass is very green due to all the rain, it is visually forceful when you haven’t seen it for a while. So kind of obvious not so deep a name you think? But it still got me thinking……the most important part of the painting is not there, you don’t see it, its presence isn’t in paint, it is in your mind, in your cells, in your dna. Where do you come from, where is your home? What part of that is with you that I don’t see, that I never will see. But it is there in the dark, in the deep soil being nourished and supported. Just as the painting of grass is only the top bits…… someone’s roots are not apparent in their gestures, there being, but they are there, and they define them to a point. Is your character your destiny, what opportunity to you have to change it? Are you prepared to look, do you have the courage to look deep into your origins. It is a dark murky place. I read somewhere that Freud did not to go through psychoanalysis himself, so who confronted him with his own deepness, is it possible to find the unconscious on your own? Light and shade, darkness and shadow, they are wonderful in creating experience, showing different aspects of the same object as the conditions change and alter micro second to minute. I think we are also ephemeral beings, never to repeat the same instant of being again,I like the change the mutability of it all. I liked the move from one end of Wales to the other as a kid, I consciously saw it as an opportunity to change the box I was cast in, to become the me that I already was, but that others had lost because they had fixed me in time. I don’t exist in time, I exist outside of it, always fleeting never the same catch me if you can…..

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